Self-preservation

I've had such distorted perceptions of so many of my past events
if someone were writing a book, I'd be the unreliable narrator who
manipulates every situation/outcome in an attempt to be glorified.
Things we do in the name of self-preservation.
The masks we wear. The stories we tell. The stories we twist.
All so that in our eyes, we are always the hero, sometimes the victim.
And the other person, the other person is always the villain.

But it's us all along, isn't it? We are the villain all along.

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Triggers

You're doing this elaborate Sunday morning routine, yeah. Today is my day, you think. Your favorite blend of tea brewing, your skin care products in a row, there's music, breakfast is ideal. All in all, it's a good start to the day, and you're happy and confident.
You open your phone and see someone's story or a post and suddenly, very unknowingly this innocent picture/video has turned your day upside down. Now your eyes are prickling with tears, your chest feels sickly-warm, your confidence lays shattered. What do you do? Where do you go from here? Do you let the feeling wash over you, make you morose, sick with all the unwelcomed thoughts or do you keep it at bay and busy yourself with a task, keeping the breakdown on hold, for another time, another day. Which coping mechanism is healthy?

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